Anxious
By
John Lysaught
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by
prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all
understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philipians 4:6-7)
I have trouble with this verse. I’m anxious by the nature due to my
chemical imbalance in my brain (bipolar, major depression and anxiety
disorder). I struggle because since I’m always anxious, I’m a worry-wart of
sorts about everything. Just sitting here, I’m anxious for no apparent reason,
it’s just me and today I feel extremely anxious about everything.
I get what this verse means, and understand what it is saying, yet I’m
always anxious about even the prayers I present to the Lord. I’m always asking the Lord to take my anxiety
and worries away and do so with thanksgiving, but for some reason, that the
Lord only knows, I am stuck in the rut of anxiety, which brings fear and worry.
I really want the peace of God that comes from not being anxious about
everything.
I can say that I have felt that peace before on many occasions and when
that peace of God is present, I savior it and try to hold on to it for as long
as I can. When I feel peace, I’m so much calmer in my mind and heart that I
feel reassured in the Lord. For me, it’s a tug of war between my anxiety and
the promises of the Lord. I just can’t get over the anxiety I feel.
I get most anxious when I read the news, when I read articles on Rapture
Ready about the Rapture, and when I think of my own salvation. I worry about
the things going on in the world and I worry that I am doing what Jesus wants
me to do. I worry a lot of my own salvation. I just worry.
I do my best to turn my anxiety into a positive direction in my quest
for a better relationship with Jesus and to listen to the Holy Spirit. I use my anxiety to pursue the Lord with
greater zeal and humbleness to his Power and Glory. What Peter says helps calm
me and reminds me that God is there for me and loves me: “Humble yourselves,
therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.
Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you”
(1 Peter 5:6-7).
I sometimes feel
overwhelmed with anxiety and cry out to the Lord to take some of that anxiety
away. My greatest anxiety is, as I think a lot of us feel, is the coming
Rapture of the Church. I get so worried about myself and more so my family. I
just have this feeling something is going to happen soon. Is that a real
anxiety or is it just my anxious nature? I don’t know but I pray for relief all
the time. I believe that the Lord has allowed me to feel anxious all the time
because He doesn’t want me to get lax in my studies and seeking of Him always.
I feel that if I weren’t so anxious all the time, then I wouldn’t study and
pray as much as I do now.
I find that
expressing my thoughts in this forum is very therapeutic and I believe others
feel the same as I do and my writing helps them as much as it helps me. I find
that by researching verses on anxiety helps me be less anxious and gives me
more hope that how I feel is not a minor concern, but is addressed throughout
the Scriptures.
“Then Jesus said to
his disciples: ‘Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you
will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. Life is more than food, and
the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they
have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you
are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since
you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?’” (Luke
12:22-26).
That Jesus
addresses worry and anxiety it seems to me it is not an anomaly that I have
anxiety and worry in my life as well and that Jesus consoles us by letting us
know that we are cared for and watched over by the Lord Himself. This brings me comfort to my anxieties.
“And my God will meet
all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:19).
I need not to worry
about things of this life or what will happen to me, for the Lord will meet all
my needs. I may not get what I need right away, but in looking back in
retrospect, I can attest that all my needs that I had worried about in the past
were addressed and taken care of by my Lord and Savior. Yet here I am, still
anxious about trivial and major things going on in my life and the world.
“Now may our Lord
Jesus Christ Himself, and our God and Father, who has loved us and given us
everlasting consolation and good hope by grace, comfort your hearts and
establish you in every good word and work” (2 Thes. 2:16-17).
“Consolation and good hope by grace” is very reassuring to me and
consoles my heart when it comes to my anxiety of everything I worry about. This
is a promise from the Lord that I am going to print out and have in front of me
so that when I get stressed and anxious, I can be reminded that the Lord is at
work in me and I have nothing to fear of worry about.
If you feel as I do, know you are not alone. There are others like me
out there. Use your anxiety and worry to bring you closer to Jesus, not to
separate you. I believe the enemy tries
to use anxiety to separate me from my Lord Jesus, but I thwart his efforts by
turning my anxiety into a tool to grow in my relationship with Jesus.
If I allowed Satan to use my anxiety to separate me from the Lord, I
know I would be lost and in a worse spot. I know that if I allowed my anxiety
to move me away from the Lord, I will fall to the side and be on the wrong path
to righteousness. This is why I turn my anxiety to lead me to grow with Jesus
as my Lord and Savior. I know the Holy Spirit is working in me and uses my
anxiety and worries to good, not bad. I have faith in this and hold on to the
promises as stated in the verses cited in this essay.
Well my friends, I feel a lot better
about my anxieties, fears, and worries now that I have put them into words. I
hope that this short commentary my sharing with you my thoughts on this have
been a help for some of you out there feeling the same way I do. God bless.
All versus are from
the NIV.
John Lysaught
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