I Am

There is one verse which gives me goosebumps every single time I read it or think about it. It is so powerful to me and sums of everything that is God. Maybe it is just me. This verse gives me a sense of awe and peace at the same moment. It is from the KJV in Exodus 3:14, “And God said unto Moses, I Am That I Am: and he said, Thus Shalt thou say unto the children of Israel, I Am hath sent me unto you.”  In this verse, it is the five words “I Am That I Am” that touches my soul so deep.  I Am is so beyond my comprehension, so deep in meaning, but so simple of a statement. 

The God of the universe is beyond my mere human mind. I can’t grasp even a fraction of Him and His all-encompassing power and might. To me, when I think about this, I feel so very small in the universe, but I’m not at the same time. To know and imagine God created everything known and unknown to us, and yet still knows little ole me, puts things in perspective.  My life is but a whisper in the wind in eternity. I’m just a cog in the machine called life, but I’m still so important to Him. He knew me before I was in my mother’s womb. He knows me deeper than anyone else. He knows my weaknesses, my strengths. He knows what I struggle with and how I can thrive. He used this world to shape me into the man I am now and will continue to work my life until it is time for me to leave this world. 

As bad as I can be, He has never given up on me.  He spoke the universe into existence and yet knows my personal life and heart better than I do. Through it all, the pain, the suffering, the joys, and the peace I have and bounce between, He is here with me through each moment.  Sometimes, I don’t listen for Him and even refuse to hear Him.  He doesn’t let go of me.  As much as I sometimes pull away and push Him away, He holds me tight. Sometimes I lose trust in myself and when this happens, I lose trust in Him. He still doesn’t give up on me.  When I stop to ponder this in the loneliest of times in life, I am greatly amazed He, the Author of all, cares for me and my eternity. 

When I’m at my best, I at times forget He was there helping me and I take all the credit. When I’m at my worse is when I cry out to Him in the deepest parts of my heart and soul. I don’t feel worthy. Logically, I know thinking this way is a farce, but it still happens. It is in these deepest darkest times that God is holding me the most.  I love Him so much.  If I didn’t have Him in my life, I don’t know what I would do.  He sustains me. He lifts me up.  He brings those into my life that make a positive difference. My wife, my kids, and friends support me through God’s divine plan for me.  He gives me hope when I’m hopeless. He pulls me back onto the ledge when I’m hanging on by my fingertips. His amazing ways of Himself and using others, keep me going each day.

I fail a lot too. I mess up so much, but He is God and in His infinite love, He gave me mercy and grace through His Son.  Amazing. Unfathomable to me.  I don’t think I deserve His mercy and grace, but He does because I’m important to Him.  I can’t take a breath without His grace to keep me alive.  I let myself down a lot and feel I let Him down too.  He still loves me though and has never wavered in this.  When my heart is in the right place, but the rest of me isn’t, I can only be thankful for Him caring about me regardless of my shortcomings and failings.  He takes me back each time, never turning His back on me, never. I’m the one who turns my back and when I come back around, He is still there, never changing but always welcoming me. 

In 1^st John, the Bible tells us we can’t live in both the light and darkness at the same time. There is no grey area, no in between.  I can admit I am pulled by both. When I walk into darkness, I’m only to blame.  I don’t like it and I come back to God. And the cycle repeats.  I hate this about myself.  He still loves me though.  I can’t thank Him enough for giving me the strength to recognize the errs of my ways and the strength to come back to Him.  He won’t let me leave Him and I’m in awe of this because the Creator of everything is looking out for me and desiring me to be with Him in the light. God is the light I want in my life. He is my Father. My Good Father. He is I Am.  He still wants me with Him.

In the darkest moments in my life is when He manifests Himself the most to me.  No matter how ever changing my life is. No matter how chaotic things become. No matter how dark my sadness goes, God is never changing and I can hold on to this truth.  I am who I am, and God loves me for me being me.  Only God can lead me to Him. Only He can be the calm in my storms.  He is the foundation I can count on when nothing else seems right or stable.  He is real and He is good. 

Some of you out there feel or have felt the same way I do. For those of us who struggle (which should be all in one way or another), we have our Savior. He died for us.  He was the sacrifice for our sins, our shortcomings that separated us from Him. While in this world, we will struggle and we will never be perfect, even if we pretend to be so.  Be yourself, because God created each one of us. He doesn’t want us to pretend to be something we aren’t.  He wants us only to draw near to Him. Do this and the rest will fall into place. 

God bless you all.

Trying Times

We are living in trying times. Events wrapped up in evil are seemingly exponentially worse each week, sometimes each day.  These events can cause both excitement and anxiety.  I feel both. Yet, we must not forget that until the day of redemption comes, we still have to live our lives to the fullest for Christ while looking up and working through our daily problems, facing our own turmoil to survive in this world.

In John 16:33 (KJV) Jesus tells us, "These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world."  Jesus knew we would face trying times, holistically as humanity, and as individuals.  He knows the world isn't our real home, but only a temporary waypoint on the way to eternity.  The world is fallen and yes, we are stuck in it for now, but we have hope of being saved from this planet when God calls us back home.  We cannot hurry this; nor can we do anything to change this. God works on His timeline and when what happens happens, then He will move to claim us from the world.

The world as a whole is going through spasms, as the unsaved and evil try to purge followers of Christ from existence, to extinguish our light- but again, Christ overcame the world. Even though we know this, we still struggle with battles to fight through.  The world is targeting each of us and uses our weaknesses and other pressures to distract us from our first love- Christ.  This can be challenging but... we can overcome and stay steadfast in our relationship with Jesus. 

Psalm 119: 134 (KJV), "Deliver me from the oppression of man: so will I keep thy precepts."

Followers of God have been oppressed by man for thousands of years.  It is the same today as it was yesteryears.  The pressure of oppression from man can cause followers of Jesus to turn from Him. Oppression is used by the world to keep us down, to turn us from God. Sin, temptations, idols, money, etc. are used as repressive forces to keep us from getting closer to Christ, and the things we face today are the same as those in the past, they just manifest themselves differently. Instead of Roman gods, we today have celebrities. We are tempted to seek the riches of these times like the past- we call them material things like expensive cars.  We are tempted by the harlots of today like pornography or other sensual enticements. Our forefathers faced the same turmoil we do today and because they overcame we can too.

We all face turmoil. Some more than others. Sometimes it is spread out and sometimes many barrage us at once.  Turmoil doesn’t go away. It seems to keep coming in some fashion or another, right? Maybe it is relationship problems with your spouse. Could it be finances? How about work- a mean boss? People treating you different because you are a Christian? Knowing we have these problems does not make them easier to face or deal with and the comfort of knowing this is all temporary in the scheme of eternity is difficult to grasp in the midst of our problems. 

Trials are just a way of life. We trust the Lord to take us from these problems one day soon, but what about the here and now?  How do we face the day and tomorrow (if it comes, of course)? Through the strength of God!

I won't go into much detail, but I face tribulations mostly from my health. My health is what it is. God in His grace and mercy keeps me going. When and if He heals me, He will at His good pleasure.  I used to be angry at Him, but I'm not anymore. I have good days and mostly bad days but what is constant in my life is God.  My health concerns may change in intensity and frequency, but God is the same today and will be the same tomorrow- loving and full of mercy and grace. I accept we live in a fallen world and with it some of us win the lottery of illness or something else, but God is still God. What I have learned over time is I can lean on God to get me through each and every day and His mercy is greater than my issues whether it be my health or whatever.

Again, we all face troubles. What I have observed, and through personal experience, is most of the disorder we have in our lives is self-inflicted.  We try to blame others, Satan, society, etc., but really- come on now- it is our own doing.  Satan didn't force you to buy the car you can't afford because you didn't want to be seen driving that junker.  The office coworker didn't force you to the hotel at lunch in secret. Yes, the temptation was presented, but you took the bait.  And now, you have chaos in your marriage and wallet is in the negative.  Satan or society can never make us do anything we do that is contrary to God. We do it. We have only ourselves to blame and we have to face the consequences of our own devices. 

I know, I know, we are Christians and are not supposed to accuse ourselves of failings, of the situations we find ourselves in.  But... remember, we are man, bound up in a fallen world and prone to sin, to do what is contrary to God. This is a battle fought every day. When we let our guard down, we are more likely to trip and fall on our face and blame our failings on something or someone else.  We only have the person in the mirror to look at for this.  If we don't recognize this, we can't learn, and if we can't learn from our mistakes, our relationship with Christ becomes stagnant at best or in jeopardy.

Wait.  You may say somethings are not our fault but other’s evil like being discriminated against because of our faith or being marginalized by society- we become victims of evil actions. Whether we put ourselves in a predicament or the world is against us, we can rely on God's mercy, but this is another article.

Look, I can go on and on about turmoil and troubles and problems but really how do we deal with them? First and foremost, we must tune our hearts and ears to the voice of God.  That little voice in our hearts from God needs to be tuned and turned up as to be an overwhelming voice of thunder.  It is hard to the whisper of a trickling stream in the forest but it is easy to hear the roar of a raging river.  We need to attune and train ourselves to have God's voice rage in our hearts and minds so when faced with committing a sin or putting ourselves in not-so-good position, or find ourselves face-to-face with evil people, we can hear the guidance of God.  We just need to listen to His voice for truth. God will not send us astray. He will help us if we allow Him to- just wait, be patient and listen.

We are living in the last days of this known world. Trials and tribulations abound. Turmoil is present and evil surrounds us. The only constant hope we have is the promises of God. If we hold the course, we will reach our destination. Regardless of what is happening near us or thousands of miles away, God is still God and we are charged to be His ambassadors to others and introduce Christ to those who need Him. The world is using the chaos and troubles of the times to wear us down so we turn from our foundational beliefs. Don’t be fooled brothers and sisters.  Stay true to God, lay your worries upon Him, and do the works He wants you to do to further His Kingdom.